Progress, Not Perfection
Progress, not perfection. This is a phrase I heard from one of role models, Hilary Rushford. She’s the founder and CEO of Dean Street Society (also, check out her podcast You’re Welcome, she talks a lot about entrepreneurship, anxiety, and dealing with toxic people). I was talking to a friend recently about accountability, goals, and moving forward. I quoted this phrase to her because I have it on a loop in my head day in and day out. When I don’t meet a goal of mine, I tend to stew over it and beat myself up internally for hours on end. I call myself every name in the book and (metaphorically) hit my head against the wall.
For example, I’ve had the goal of waking up early for a few months now and have only managed to succeed a handful of times. Each night I think “I’ll set my alarm an hour early, I’ll wake up before Remy, have coffee, do my devotions, and knock out SO MUCH before the day gets crazy”. Then it never fails I’ll sleep through my alarm, my phone will die, I won’t hear the alarm clock, or I’ll subconsciously turn it off. As a side note, does anyone else’s body do this? I think my subconscious-self is plotting against me to rest. Maybe I need it more than I realize? Either way. I’ll miss my alarm, then wake up to Remy chanting “Ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma” from the other side of the wall. I feel like a rockstar, with my biggest fan cheering me on to wake up, but then the barrage of self-deprecation starts, “why am I such a loser?”, “just wake up early, for Pete’s sake”, “now you’re going to be behind all day”, “everyone else can do it, why can’t you?!”, “one more day you won’t exercise, good job”, and so on. Not a great way to start the day.
Then I heard it, “progress not perfection”. It’s so simple but something we often take for granted. On days when I wake up even 10 or 20 minutes early, I now think “heck yeah, rockstar!”. Truthfully, the feeling of a small victory gives me an adrenaline rush. I start thinking “what else can I crush?! I woke up 10 MINUTES EARLY!” I’m a dork, yes, but celebrating a small win with something I’ve struggled with feels really good. This small victory gives me courage to tackle big, scary goals like weight loss, financial goals, and goals for my business. I think, “if I can slowly do this, I can do just about anything”. Financial guru and radio host Dave Ramsey says, “you only fail if you give up”. In terms of reaching for your goals, the hardest thing to do is pick yourself up after you feel like you’ve failed. But listen to me, if that goal is still inside you, even if it’s just whispering in the corner of your mind, you might feel like a failure but you’re not, not until you totally give up on it. And even then, you’re not a failure; pivoting and re-prioritizing are not giving up. Sitting down and smashing an entire pizza on a Friday night does not mean you’ve failed at your weight loss plan...not that I know anything about that. Sleeping through your alarm for the 40th day in a row does not mean you’ll never be able to wake up early. Being laughed out of an appointment does not mean your dream has failed. You had the courage to start in the first place, to do the hard thing and realize whatever problem you had that needed solved. Baby steps still move us forward.
This weekend Remy was walking on the path up to our house and lost his footing. He fell, scraped his face, cried, but got up and wasn’t afraid to keep going. (Mama on the other hand was not so cavalier, he’s totally okay, btw). It was a reminder that trying something new won’t be perfect. It’ll be hard. We’ll fall, we’ll scrape our faces, but we have to get up and try again. Progress, not perfection. Change is hard. Following your dreams seems impossible sometimes. Goals can be big and scary. But you only fail if you give up. Aim for progress, not perfection.
